Final Fantasy Screwups!
by I.made.you.up.in.my.heaD
Summary: Everyone has to be Heroly in the movies, but that's not what real life is like! Read this and you'll see...YOU'LL ALL SEE!


**This is a fanfiction I wrote with my friend Heidi. GIVE THANKS TO HER IN THE FORM OF CHOCOLATE MEN!! M Enjoy.**

* * *

Hello!

My name should be Lauren. But I'm going to call myself, Billy-Bob-Joe. LOVE ME!

And this is Heidi. (She's not important.)

SLAP!

Heidi hit Billy-Bob-Joe. And starts cursing which somehow turns into a jazz robot song?

Right! To the point! This is a story mocking the extremely good movie of Advent Children!

Dramatic drum music.

But we're gonna make fun of it anyway!

?

Onward!

Red runs with his pact through an extremely un-interesting, (Like Heidi.) scene. So we're gonna make it interesting! (Not like Heidi.)

So anywho, Red was running and then he tripped over a chicken! And the other two, being his loyal subjects, did the proper thing at that time. They laughed hysterically. Then kept on runnin.

Red looks annoyed. Enough of this! To Reno in his chopper of death! Tseng calls for help.

Reno: Death!

Kills everyone. Death! Yes, yes. To Cloud and his motor thing of DOOM!

Heidi: You're skipping all the important details!

Me: Boring! To the things that do not resemble anything of Heidi! No why? Cause there interesting! (Sticks her tongue out at Heidi.)

Heidi: (Heidi grabs Mes tongue and rips it off.) I got myself a new tongue!

Me: That's the Heidi I know!

Director: Fallow yer lines! Yer saposed at have no tongue!

Me: Oh right! (Tries to talk with no tongue.)

Director: (Throughs the script in the air and breaths a sigh that says, "Screw it!")

Heidi: We're getting off subject.

Me: (Shoves a jar of dirt over Heidi's head.) Back to Cloud and his motor thing of DOOM!

Cloud picks up his phone and throughs it over the cliff.

"There Hundin! Now when that one scene comes you can't say that you don't see me throwing it away!"

"Through what away?" Tifa asked.

"Darns it! Now I gotta get the phone so you can see!" Cloud said as he jumps off the cliff.

"…Okay!" Tifa said, then sat and waited for Cloud. Poor fools.

Skips a lot of important details.

Their fighting the monster! The monster feels kinky and tries to attract a mate. Finds a pole.

Which we will call Laura.

"Hey baby, what ya doin Friday night?"

Pole smacks him and walks off. (How it does this, we have no idea. Blame Heidi, she's in charge of the script now!)

Heidi: WHEEEEE! Me likey funny script!

The kid tries to kill the monster cause he was hitting on his girlfriend. (The pole.)

But instead he pees his pants and runs home crying. All the people show up. Cloud purposely runs over Tifa with his motor thing of doom.

"Oops! Sorry!" Cloud yells back sarcastically. Vincent spontaneously combusts. He runs in circles.

"My heads on fire! My heads on fire!" He yells.

"You smell pretty!" Cloud said.

"I'm a pretty princess!" Barrett yells as he skips in a triangle, while wearing a pink frilly dress and throughing flowers out of a basket and into the air! He was wearing a blond wig.

"Ahhhhh! I'm falling! I forgot my Para shoot!" Yuffie yells as she falls to her doom.

"I'll save you my love!" Cid yells as he extends his arms.

"No! Just let me die!" Yuffie yells as she goes cerr-splat!

"Oh. I missed." Cid said. He stands there for a moment, looking bored, then he scratches his butt. He sees another hot chick walk by and runs after her yelling, "Hey! Can I save you!?"

So lets see. Who's dead now?

Heidi: Vincent, Tifa, Yuffie, and Cids out of the picture cause he's busy satisfying his manly needs.

Me: So that leaves, Cloud, Barrett, Red and that cat thing, who have yet to show up.

Heidi: We got work to do!

Barrett trips over his own flower, cries, then explodes from crying for two friggin hours! Then Cloud runs in with a bucket of acid and poors it all over Red and that cat thing, who just came.

"I'm melting!" The cat thing yells as he suddenly turns into the wicked whitch of the west. "Oh what a world!"

"Finally!" Red says.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Cloud laughs manically. Then takes the rest of the acid and poors on everyone in the city, including himself. (Boy that's a big bucket.)

"…Well that was easy." Kadaj said.

"Help I'm chafing!" Loz yells.

"Lalalalalalalalalala! Look at my beautiful long, manly hair!" Yazoo swishes his hair back and forth.

The monster taps Kadaj's shoulder. "Where's my pay!?"

"I'm free Friday." Loz said, while winking at the monster. The monster screams and flies away on the wings of an eagle.

"Well we have the city to ourselves. Wadda you wanna do?" Kadaj said.

"Lets turn it into a giant beauty salon!" Yazoo said.

"Weren't we saposed to find mother and, do…something?" Loz asks.

"Oh yeah!" Kadaj said.

(Somewhere in a different dimension.)

Sepiroth looks annoyed.

"Where are those idiots?! I'm bored!"

"Be patient honey."

"Yes mother." Sepiroth makes a face. And then gets smacked with a platypus by his mother.

(Back to the acid infested Midgar.)

"…Oh well." Yazoo said.

"Yeah she's just a head anyway. Where's the fun in that?" Kadaj said.

"I'm still chafing!" Loz cried. They turned Midgar into a giant beauty salon, where people came to become beautiful but, in Yazoo's wild jealousy, makes them ugly instead!

THE END!

A, "Happy Psycho Production."

Made in Billy-Bob-Joe's house.

Director: The guy that ran away.

Editor: Lauren the mighty!

Writer: Lauren the brave!

Script writer: Lauren the wise!

Heidi: Hey, I helped too!

The END!

Heidi: HEEEEEY!


End file.
